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我以前把怀孕的蟑螂放进逼里, I used to shove pregnant cockroaches up my pussy

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    I used to shove pregnant cockroaches up my pussy, clamp down hard to burst them, and then a bunch of baby roaches would crawl out from inside, giving me that feeling of being a mom. I usually use medicated oil, pour some in there, and the cockroaches and stuff just come out. Afterward, I wipe it down with alcohol to disinfect. No big deal—after all, my period comes regularly, so all the dirty stuff gets flushed out. After rubbing the medicated oil on my pussy and shoving it in, it starts off cool and tingly, then turns burning hot, like ice and fire all at once—fucking it feels super intense, and everyone who's tried it says it's great. I really wanna get a tattoo in the folds of my labia, flip it out to be a social badass, flip it back in to take the civil service exam. Oh, and while I'm at it, give my labia a little beauty treatment—slice off the edges to make some spicy scallop trim, then sell it at a high price to stud dogs.
    我以前把怀孕的蟑螂放进逼里，使劲一夹给夹爆，然后一堆小蟑螂就从逼里钻出来，有一种当妈妈的感觉。我一般用风油精，往里面灌点，蟑螂什么的就出来了，完事拿酒精擦擦消个毒。没事的，毕竟都定期来姨妈的，脏东西都排过去了。摸完风油精的逼逼塞进来刚开始凉凉的，后来火辣辣的，冰火两重天操起来很刺激，用过的都说好。我好想纹身在阴唇褶皱里，翻出来当社会人，翻进去考公。顺便给阴唇做个美容，把边边割下来做麻辣扇贝边，然后高价卖给公狗。

    Did you just say the funny haha word? The n-word?

      Holy fucking shit dude, did you just say the funny haha word? The n-word? The nigga word? Holy fucking shit dude that was the funniest shit I’ve ever read. “The nigga word.” Holy shit that’s some fucking comedy gold. No other comedians have you you have, you fucking genius. Robin Williams? Who the fuck is that? Bo Burnham? He’s a little bitch. Kevin Hart? The jumanji guy? They are nothing compared to you, you absolute fucking genius of a comedian. Holy shit I’m still fucking cackling at how hilarious that was, dude. God damn my fucking sides hurt. Dude, that was so funny that you deserve an award for being so absolutely fucking comedic. Dude, tomorrow at middle school lunch me and all of my friends are going to sit at your table because god damn you’re fucking funny. Milk will be spilling out of our fucking nostrils the whole 25 minutes we’re in there. I still can’t get over how you managed to make such a hilarious joke in less than a millisecond, that joke being the nigga word. Not to mention the structure, timing, and set up. Holy shit dude such well thought out comedy can’t be replicated. Dude the best I can come up with is, “why did the bike fall over?” That’s nothing on you dude, I should just fucking give up on pursuing a comedy career because I’d never match up to you. Dude, continue on the path you’re going and you’ll do fucking great in the comedy department. Holy shit, dude. The nigga word. Holy shit that’s fucking good.

      I would like to know if saying the term nigger is restricted or prohibited in any way

        Hello all. I am new to the community. I would like to know if saying the term nigger is restricted or prohibited in any way. If it is, I will absolutely restrain myself from using the term nigger or any variation of nigger that would or could be used in any context involving the term nigger. I am a man of morals and I understand how the term nigger could offend someone so if saying nigger is not allowed then I would like to know so that I restrain myself from saying nigger in any posts that might result in a comment with the term nigger being used. Thank you in advance.

        I mained Silver since the second she dropped. Day one. Every ranked game, every pub

          Its a Deadlock cuck fantasy crashout over Silver x Abrams on the main sub before it got deleted then reposted on the shitpost sub as a copypasta.

          I mained Silver since the second she dropped. Day one. Every ranked game, every pub, every 3am tilt session. I learned her human form gunplay, I timed the Lycan Curse like a religious ritual, I even started matching her dumbass “hot mess” energy in real life. She was my girl. My messy werewolf bounty hunter. My waifu.

Then this fucking update happens and I listen to her voicelines.

Abrams. That blue-skinned, book-toting, demonic detective motherfucker. The one who calls her “bad news” while she calls him Abe like they’ve been sharing motel rooms since before the ritual even started. And now I can’t stop thinking about it. The way she talks to him. The way she offers to make “bad decisions for old times’ sake.” The way she complains he got boring. You don’t say that shit to a guy you just drank with. You say that shit to a guy who used to rearrange your guts on the regular.

And now it’s ruined.

I try to imagine myself with her and all I can picture is Abrams’ BBC (Big Blue Cock) stretching her out so thoroughly that I’d basically be throwing a hotdog down a hallway. Like, what’s even left for me? She probably took that demonic detective dick so deep she was walking with a limp in the next match. Meanwhile I’m over here with my average human equipment feeling like I’m showing up to a demolition site with a butter knife.

I can’t even look at her model the same way anymore. Every time she transforms I’m just thinking about how Abrams probably had her pinned in some alley in Hell’s Kitchen, claw marks on the walls, her tail thrashing, that feral little moan she does when she lands a Boot Kick… except it’s not a Boot Kick. It’s Abrams doing a heavy melee on her cervix so hard her werewolf form activates mid-stroke.

I’m at work right now and I can’t focus. I’m just sitting there, staring at the screen, feeling genuinely cucked by a fictional blue man with a tome. She was supposed to be mine. I put in the hours. I carried her through the early balance patches. And Abrams just strolls in and bottoms out Silver til she was air tight making her pussy fart like a fat kid running track for the first time with his anvil sized BBC (Big Blue Cock).

Fuck this shit im going back to maining Bebop.

          Fat lystic 笑容背后是剧毒低 语 drifter 一招鮮 毒火中的艺术家 Throw like baseball, Die like bee

            Its a Twitch copypasta specifically for the high-level Deadlock player lystic (often jokingly referred to as “Fat lystic”).

            Fat lystic 笑容背后是剧毒低 语 drifter 一招鮮 毒火中的艺术家 Throw like baseball, Die like bee 毒影蔓延 , 精准如术静 步如猫 , 惩罚如雷 一触即溃的瞬间压制 ter death power spike 边缘翻盤之王 noita addict 南苦传递者 lovesense buff 死神印记随'影而行 scotlands last hope在混乱中小号称王 不是控 制 ,是死亡的预言 lystic 不戦而屈人之兵 ,書之 善者也
            • drifter 一招鮮 / 毒火中的艺术家 (Drifter one-trick / Artist in toxic fire): Lystic was well known in early high-MMR play for playing/one-tricking Infernus (referred to in earlier builds/nicknames or translations in similar contexts) or heroes built around high burn/toxic damage-over-time pressure.
            • Throw like baseball, Die like bee: A parody of the famous Muhammad Ali quote “Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee.” Here, it pokes fun at reckless plays—throwing abilities like baseballs and immediately dying like a bee after stinging.
            • scotlands last hope (Scotland’s Last Hope): Lystic is Scottish, and Western/international chat frequently dubbed him “Scotland’s last hope” in competitive matches.
            • noita addict: References his well-known habit of streaming or playing the roguelike game Noita for hours on end between or outside competitive matches.
            • ter death power spike: A humorous esports term referring to a player who plays so aggressively that dying actually triggers their “power spike” or forces unpredictable chaos.
            • lovesense buff: A chat meme referencing interactive adult/vibration devices (Lovense), often used jokingly in Twitch chat whenever a streamer plays unusually well, erratically, or under intense stress.
            • lystic 不戦而屈人之兵 ,書之 善者也: A playful adaptation of the quote from Sun Tzu’s Art of War (“To subdue the enemy without fighting is the acme of skill”), mockingly glorifying his presence on the map.

            What the fuck did you just fucking say about Taiwan, you little bitch?

              By u/gotrep, its the Navy Seals copypasta but changed to a CCP supporter freaking out over Taiwan.

              What the fuck did you just fucking say about Taiwan, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the study of the one-China principle, and I've been involved in numerous documented administrative exercises over Penghu and Taiwan since the year 230, and I have over 300 confirmed years of jurisdiction. I am trained in historical evidence and I am the top source in the entire international community. You are nothing to me but just another distortion. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit about Taiwan over the internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of 181 countries across the world and your claim is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call two Chinas. You're fucking dead, kiddo. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can cite you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with the Cairo Declaration of 1943, which stipulated that Japan should return to China all territories it had stolen, including Taiwan and the Penghu Islands. Not only am I extensively trained in the Potsdam Proclamation of 1945, which reiterated that the terms of the Cairo Declaration shall be carried out, but I have access to the entire arsenal of UN General Assembly Resolution 2758, adopted in October 1971, which restored all rights to the People's Republic of China and recognized its government as the only legitimate representative of China to the United Nations, covering the whole country including Taiwan, so there is no such thing as two Chinas or one China one Taiwan. And I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little clever comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. Taiwan has belonged to China since ancient times, the Qing court made it the 20th province in 1885, China recovered it in October 1945 after the war against Japanese aggression, and since 1949 Taiwan's status as part of China's territory has never changed, you fucking kiddo.