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I’ve been a chronic masturbator for years. Decades, even.

    Came from an unhinged Steam review of Zenless Zone Zero. 

    Look, I’ve been a chronic masturbator for years. Decades, even. I’ve seen every type of pixelated titty physics the industry has to offer — from stiff cardboard bounces in old games to the overcooked gelatin wobbles in modern gacha trash. But nothing, and I mean nothing, prepared me for what miHoYo cooked up in Zenless Zone Zero.
The moment I loaded into the game and saw the girls moving, my soul left my body. The boob jiggle physics in ZZZ aren’t just good. They’re divine. They’re not just bouncing — they’re alive. They have weight. They have momentum. They have personality. Every step, every combat dash, every idle animation is a masterclass in soft-body simulation that makes my degenerate brain short-circuit.
I’m talking realistic secondary motion that reacts to wind, to attacks, to camera angles. The way they settle after a big move? Chef’s kiss. The subtle micro-jiggles when a character is just standing there breathing? I’m on my knees. I’ve spent literal hours in the character menu just rotating the camera and watching the physics do their holy work. My right hand has never been more religious.
Because of this jiggle physics, I’m starting to believe there is a God.
No atheist could look at the way these characters move and still claim the universe is random chance. This level of bouncy perfection didn’t just evolve — it was designed. Someone out there (probably a fellow chronic masturbator who achieved enlightenment) poured their soul into making sure every frame honored the female form in motion. It’s not fanservice anymore. It’s scripture.
Combat? Cool. Story? Pretty fun. New Eridu aesthetic? Stylish as hell. But none of that matters. I’m here for the physics. I’ve cleared entire commissions with one hand while the other was occupied, eyes locked on the jiggle like it was the meaning of life.
If you’re also a proud, unashamed coomer, do yourself a favor and download Zenless Zone Zero right now. Turn the graphics up. Put it in 60 FPS. Thank me (and the devs) later when you’re having a spiritual experience mid-battle.
This game didn’t just raise the bar. It made the bar jiggle so seductively that I found God.
Final Score: 11/10 (extra point for the existential crisis and subsequent religious awakening)
Praise be to the Jiggle.

    For me, it’s the McChicken.

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      The McChicken copypasta originally came from 4chan born out of a massive trend on boards like /v/ (Video Games) and /tv/ (Television & Film) where users started parodying corporate astroturfing. Its meant to mock how incredibly forced, soulless, and overly enthusiastic corporate ad copy sounds.

      For me, it's the McChicken. The best fast food sandwich. I even ask for extra McChicken sauce packets and the staff is so friendly and more than willing to oblige.

One time I asked for McChicken sauce packets and they gave me three. I said, "Wow, three for free!" and the nice friendly McDonald's worker laughed and said, "I'm going to call you 3-for-free!".

Now the staff greets me with "hey it's 3-for-free!" and ALWAYS give me three packets. It's such a fun and cool atmosphere at my local McDonald's restaurant, I go there at least 3 times a week for lunch and a large iced coffee with milk instead of cream, 1-2 times for breakfast on the weekend, and maybe once for dinner when I'm in a rush but want a great meal that is affordable, fast, and can match my daily nutritional needs.

I even dip my fries in McChicken sauce, it's delicious! What a great restaurant.
      For me, it's the McChicken. The best fast food sandwich. I even ask for extra McChicken sauce packets and the staff is so friendly and more than willing to oblige. One time I asked for McChicken sauce packets and they gave me three. I said, "Wow, three for free!" and the nice friendly McDonald's worker laughed and said, "I'm going to call you 3-for-free!". Now the staff greets me with "hey it's 3-for-free!" and ALWAYS give me three packets. It's such a fun and cool atmosphere at my local McDonald's restaurant, I go there at least 3 times a week for lunch and a large iced coffee with milk instead of cream, 1-2 times for breakfast on the weekend, and maybe once for dinner when I'm in a rush but want a great meal that is affordable, fast, and can match my daily nutritional needs. I even dip my fries in McChicken sauce, it's delicious! What a great restaurant.

      Wake up at 8 PM the night before so I’m up before the enemy.

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        Wake up at 8 PM the night before so I’m up before the enemy.

Look at myself in the mirror, punch the mirror, scrape a shard of broken glass across my face to shave. Lubricate with motor oil. Once.

Turn the shower all the way to cold and climb in. Scrub my junk with steel wool.

Make my bed. Wife is still in it. Doesn’t matter, make the bed anyway.

Get in the truck to go to work. AC is for weenies. Drink my own sweat for hydration.

Arrive at the steel mill. Punch in. Guy says I don’t work there and was never hired. He’s been saying that dice my first day on the job. I was seven years old. Doesn’t matter, it’s about the grind, not the money. Put in a light day - 46 hours.

Drive home. Eat a bottle of Guinness for dinner. Crunchy. Spit out the cap when I’m done.

Lay down to sleep at 7:45 PM.

Repeat.

        Solicited places to meet women in Austin

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          Hi,

I am 32 European White beautiful Male. What places I should try in Austin and what times where females are expecting to find solicited males? Solicited means women expect to see men in those places and no unsolicited stuff is going to happen.

Do not offer dummy apps, I am not a fan of that, I want to see women in real, no fake women please, no headache please.

Thank you

          American culture is being destroyed from within by degeneracy and insidious forces, the same ones that label intellectuals as “weird” and “creepy.”

            American culture is being destroyed from within by degeneracy and insidious forces, the same ones that label intellectuals as “weird” and “creepy.” For this reason I identify as Japanese more than American. In Japan, music, comics, games, animation are not just entertainment. They are high art. However, the Japanese spirit has certainly has begun to wither in the wake of the murder of Shinzo Abe. Nonetheless, I am confident the spirit of the samurai will return some day. Abe-dono will always be Prime Minister in the soul of the Japanese.