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Trump on Mexico losing to England

    Written by u/kcat__, its a parody of what Trump would have said after Mexico lost to England 2-3.

    The... English 🫲🫱, they call them. You've heard of them, the ENGLISH—great people, amazing people. The kind of people we should want in our country. Sleepy Joe Biden brought in BILLYUNS and BILLYUNS of criminal illegal aliens—from asylums, from mental institutions, and now they're EATING THE DOGS. They're EATING THE CATS.

But as we see today, Mexico are LOSERS 🫲🫱 I wouldn't know what that's like, quite frankly—Donald J. Trump is a WINNER, and it was quite obvious that Mexico would lose—England lost too, but that was quite some time ago, we called it... Independence. Independence Day, we call it. All the big people come up to me and they say, "Sir, just yesterday was the 4th of July, where America celebrates beating England and becoming free... Thank you for making the 250th birthday of this country so great"—and I say, "you're very welcome, and under Donald J. Trump we will shoot all the fireworks. Chyna could never shoot this many fireworks, believe 🫲🫱 me. Nobody has ever seen this many fireworks in one place".

England got a red card too, they tell me. Someone called Quansah—KWANZAA, it sounds like to me. Nobody knows Kwanzaa better than me, believe me 🫲🫱. I've done more for the black Americans than anyone. Nobody's ever seen this much winning by the blacks. They're all coming up to me with tears in their eyes and they're saying "Sir, under Obama we were never winning this much, under Biden we were LOSING—losing, they call it—but under you we are winning", and I say "It's the least I can do", but then, can you believe it! They say, "Sir, but the winning, it's starting to get too much, and we can't handle it, and we need you to slow down the winning. We can't deal with this level of winning", and I say "I get what you're saying, I really do. But we can't stop the winning. The winning will continue".

Our GLORIOUS American team played against... Bosnia. Bosnia, they call it, and some other name I won't try to say. And we played GREAT. We knocked their socks off, America did—but the ref, corrupt ref, believe me, I know corruption, he gave our beautiful player Balogun—and by the way, no one has done more for guns than me. Kamala would have taken your guns, folks, believe me. People came up to me with tears in their eyes and they pleaded with me, "sir, Kamala, she's taking the guns, she's taking the bullets", and I said "under my administration, you have nothing to fear". Bullets—i know a lot about bullets, believe me. I was shot twice, in the ear in fact. Sleepy Joe Biden never took a bullet for this country. Balogun took a red card for this country.

So the black community, they come to me with desperation and they say "sir 🫲🫱, we know we said were tired of winning, but we need you to help us win again, Balogun has gotten a red card and that means he can't play against Belgium". They tell me it was a corrupt radical left ref—believe me, I know all about it. Radical left democrat judges making corrupt decisions is nothing new to me. So I called up my friend, Infantino... Infantino, they call him. No one knows about infants more than me 🫲🫱, believe me. So I call him, and I say, "you have a radical left referee on your team, and he's trying to destroy America. I can't have this, Gianni". And he said, with tears choking his voice, "yes sir. We'll look into this". And he did the right thing. And he reversed the card. That's more than Sleepy Joe Biden did. He never did the right thing and conceded when I won the 2020 election.

And the black folk came to me, with tears gushing down their cheeks, and they said "sir, you've saved us. Thank you for bringing black America back from the grave" and I said "it's just what I do".

But they needed my help again, and they said "sir, what you did with Balogun was amazing. Kamala could never do such a thing. But another radical left Western-hating ref gave Quansah a red card, and we need your help". England needs my help, can you believe that! Keir starmer was not so nice, he wouldn't help me. So I was going to refuse. But then Kier Starmer left—good riddance, believe me 🫲🫱—so I started thinking about it. I'll let you know what happens, but we'll do the right thing.

Sleepy Joe Biden, he never did the right thing. I won 2020, and those radical left judges, they helped him steal it. Autopen Joe, I call him.

    I already knew the answer. We were at the peak.

      I got lost hiking up a mountain, and I saw a shepherd. I asked him "How far up are we?" and he answered "This post." That's how I realised, I already knew the answer. We were at the peak.

      I can’t take it anymore. I’m sick of Charizard-Y.

        Its the Xiangling copypasta but changed to Mega Charizard Y from Pokemon.

        I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of Charizard-Y. I try to build a Froslass team. It's weak to Charizard-Y. I try to build rain. It's weak to Charizard-Y. I try to build Balance. It's weak to Charizard-Y. I want to use Steel-types. They get roasted by Charizard-Y. I switch in my Fire resist. Solar Beam. I switch in my Water-type. Solar Beam. I bring in my Garchomp. Rock slide misses 3 times. I finally get Trick Room up. He Protects, stalls a turn, and KOs both of my mons. I want to bring Mawile. The team preview laughs at me. He grabs me by the throat. I EV my Incineroar. He clicks Heat Wave. I bring Wide Guard. He has Overheat. I bring Occa berry. He crits anyway. I bring Tyranitar. He brings Floette instead. "You just need better positioning," He tells me. "Give me one free turn. I can do more damage with Last Respects." I can't get Basculegion. I don't have anymore quick coupons. He grabs my teamsheet. Everything is weak to Charizard-Y. "I guess this is the end". He sends out Charizard-Y. He says "Use Heat Wave!". There is no hint of remorse in his eyes. I don't have any answers left. I don't have any VP left. I don't have any hope left. What a shit regulation

        I was just on PTR. Arcane mage is back.. It’s the best spec in the game..

          Its a WoW copypasta meant to mock the knee-jerk hype from WoW players when class rework drops on the test servers AKA Public Test Realm (PTR).

          I was just on PTR. Arcane mage is back.. It's the best spec in the game.. Missiles is back.... Sunfury is GOD TIER!!!! I'm already sold!!!! I resubbed for 12 months..... ARCANE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!