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Nikocado’s Villain Speech

    Nikocado "Two steps ahead" villain monologue

    The infamous “Two steps ahead” from Nikocado’s villain monologue after he revealed that he lost all his weight and the online persona was fake to garner views. The monologue is near identical to his older video further solidifying that this was all an experiment for him and his viewers are “ants”.

    Nikocado is a mukbang Youtuber that gained a lot of controversy due to his huge weight gain and childlike antics in his videos.

    Two Steps Ahead (Current)

    Two steps ahead. I am always two steps ahead. This has been the greatest social experiment of my entire life. It's alluring, it's compelling, it's gripping to observe all these unwell, disoriented beings roam the internet in search of stories, ideas, rivalries, where they feel encouraged and engaged, where they involve themselves with the stories and become a product of influence. Thirsty for distraction from time unspent, spoiling their minds yet stimulating them at the same time. It's brilliant, and it's dangerous. I feel as if I'm monitoring ants on an ant farm. One follows another, follows another, follows another, follows another. It's mesmerizing. It's spellbinding. All these little consumers, all of these lost – and bored – people. People consuming anything that they're told to consume. So, I am the villain because I've made myself one. And you will continue to consume these stories about me, year after year after year, for as long as I tell the internet that I am the villain. Stories that permeate and linger and infect the minds of the ants. Influence the ants, brainwash the ants, you are the ants. Today I woke up from a very long dream, and I also woke up having lost 250 pounds off of my body. Yet just yesterday, people were calling me fat, and sick, and boring, and irrelevant. People. People the most messed up creatures on the entire planet, and yet I've still managed to stay two steps ahead. Of everyone. The joke's on you. 
    Two steps ahead. I am always two steps ahead. This has been the greatest social experiment of my entire life. It’s alluring, it’s compelling, it’s gripping, to observe all these unwell, disoriented beings roam the internet in search of stories, ideas, rivalries where they feel... encouraged and engaged, where they involve themselves with the stories, and become a product of influence. Thirsty for distraction from time unspent, spoiling their minds, yet stimulating them at the same time. It’s brilliant. And it’s dangerous. I feel as if I’m monitoring ants, on an ant farm. One, follows another, follows another, follows another... It’s mesmerizing. It’s spellbinding, all these little consumers, all of these lost. And bored. People. People consuming anything that they’re told to consume. So I am the villain. Because I’ve made myself one, and you will continue to consume these stories about me, year, after year, after year. For as long as I tell the internet that I am the villain. Stories that permeate and linger, and infect the minds of the ants, influence the ants, brainwash the ants. You... are the ants.
Today I woke up from a... very long dream, and I also woke up... having lost two-hundred and fifty pounds off of my body. Yet just yesterday, people were calling me fat, and sick... and boring... and irrelevant. People... People are the most messed up creatures on the entire planet, and yet I’ve still managed to stay... two steps ahead... of everyone. The joke’s on you.

    Two Steps Ahead (2 years ago)

    Two steps ahead, I am always two steps ahead. This has been the greatest social experiment I've come to know, certainly the greatest of my entire life. It's alluring, It's compelling. It's gripping to bear witness to observe all these unwell, unbalanced, disoriented beings roam the internet in search of stories. In search of...ideas. Of conflict, of rivalries. Where people develop a distinctive desire for direct engagement where people feel involved with the stories and therefore become product of influence. Thirsty for distraction, from time spent from lackluster lifestyles spoiling their minds while stimulating at the exact same time. It's brilliant, but it's also dangerous. It's dangerous. I feel as if my life has been positioning to where I'm monitoring ants, on a ant farm. One follows another... follows another... follows another. It's, it's mesmerizing, it's enthralling, it's spellbinding. just look at all these consumers, all of these lost and bored people, consuming anything that they're told to consume. I am the villain. I make myself one, and people will consume these stories year after year after year. Stories that, the stories that shock, that confuse, stories that are deliberately made to blur the boundaries between fact and fiction. Stories that permeate, infect, and linger. In the minds of the ants. Influence the ants, brainwash the ants. You, are the ant. I woke this morning to money deposited into my account for simply not doing something. For simply going through with something. People are the most fucked up creatures on this planet. And you will continue to consume and I'll continue to be two steps ahead. Today, I thought it would be a splendid idea to go out and get some food. Gee, are you surprised? Have you forgotten the story? Are you not paying attention? After all you're here to consume, are you not?

    Please put a NSFW tag on this.

      You could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW
      Original comment

      The infamous ‘Please put a NSFW’ or ‘NSFW while I was on the train’ copypasta that started on Reddit and is commonly used whenever you see a horny post.

      Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masterbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole train of men masterbating together at this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW.
      Please put an NSFW tag on this 😭💢💢💢. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masturbating 😱. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” 🤬💢 and “call the police” 👮‍♂️. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image 😏. Now there is a whole train of men masturbating together at this one image 😩. This is all your fault 👺💢💢💢, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW 😡🚫💢💢💢💢💢 
      Dear brother, i plead you to apply a “Not Suitable, Foul Witchcraft” tag to this content. Twas a simple afternoon, whereupon the train i was sate. But alas, i laid eyes upon this ungodly picture, and thus i was unable to deny myself a fit of furious masturbation. Oh they stared, how they stared, the strangers on the train. The strangest of looks were flung my way, along with pronouncements such as “what upon egads earth” and “contact the police force”. I panicked so, and my telephone fell to the ground; moreover, those situated around me laid eyes upon this picture. This train, albeit small, is now populated with aroused men, each one masturbating thunderously due to this picture of yours. There is nobody to blame but you, thus it is simply your fault. You, and you alone, could have prevented this disastrous event, if you had only seized the opportunity to tag your imagery as NSFW.

      Open other variations

      Superheated cum at hypersonic speed

      Please mark this NSFW. I saw this when i was riding a bus and it made me cum uncontrollably. The sheer physical pleasure of this primordial orgasm made me collapse on the bus floor shaking. My phone fell out of my hand and everyone in the bus also saw the image and began to orgasm aswell.

This extremely arousing climax caused a superheated cumshot moving at hypersonic speeds, being able to penetrate over 1227mm of reactive composite armour, exiting my dick with a loud bang whilst tearing it apart with a deafening rip. The sheer force of the nut i busted not only ripped straight through my military cargo pants, but it also melted through the side of the bus, leaving a narrow molten corridor through the aluminum hull. The cumstream continued to flow through the air unimpeted, hitting a cars fuel tank right next to my bus, totally unbothered by the lengthy standoff distance, causing a massive explosion of cummy doom.

After the incident i was arrested by the CIA and harnessed into a secret Anti-Tank weapon, reinforcing my shaft with rolled homogenous steel core barrel and showing me the image, whilst pointing my penis at an enemy, making me cum on command and obliterating everything infront of me. Suffice to say, pretty hot image. Dang

      Uwu Owo version

      Pwease put an N-NSFW tag on dis. I-I was on teh twain awnd when I saw dis I-I hawd tuwu stawt fuwiouswy mastuwbating. E-Evewyone ewse gave me s-stwange wooks awnd wewe saying dings wike “what the fuck” awnd “call the police”. I d-dwopped mwy phone awnd evewyone awound me saw dis image. Now dewe iws a whowe twain of men mastuwbating togedew at dis one image. Dis iws aww youw fauwt, yuw couwd have pwevented dis if yuw h-hawd juwst tagged dis post NSFW

      Response to “Please mark this nsfw” copypasta

      Stop dropping your phone on the fucking train

Every morning I clock into work, and 12 hours later I clock out covered in jizz because someone dropped their phone while looking at porn and turned the whole trip into a goddamn gangbang. I can’t take it anymore. I’m literally knee deep in spunk by the end of the day, because all you motherfuckers are apparently lubing up your hands and can’t get a grip. We’ve all had to start wearing blindfolds when we exit the front so we don’t accidentally get a peak and start furiously cranking our cocks to “thugposts” or “femboys” or whatever the newest horny fad is.

For the love of god, stop dropping your phone on the fucking train.
      Response to “Please mark this nsfw”

      Please remove the NSFW tag on this.

      Please remove the NSFW tag on this. I started masturbating on the train and i was immediately turned off because it was not NSFW. Everyone on the train was wondering why i stopped masturbating and i dropped my phone on the floor and now there’s a train of full grown men not masturbating. This never would’ve happened if you had not put an NSFW tag on this.

      Please put an SFW tag on this

      Please put an SFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I became seriously confused. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what's so confusing?” and “sir is there something wrong?”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole train of men confused together at this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post SFW.

      Good Ending

      I was informed that it was all false accusations directly towards me. The image was not NSFW and in fact was 2 Children playing on a merry go round and suddenly you replied that it was NSFW. The police confirmed that it was SFW and charged you for Pedophilia. I also informed them about the train situation and in reality there wasn't any train nor records of you taking the train anywhere in the past month. I went to the doctors and they said that you were suffering from intense schizophrenia, so I hope you understand that it wasn't my mistake.

      Perhaps you were looking for ‘Why didn’t you mark this NSFW?‘

      You cheated not only the game, but yourself

        The infamous Sekiro copypasta initially started as a Tweet response towards a reviewer.
        Original Tweet

        Originally it was a response tweet to a PC Gamer article that admitted on using cheats to beat Isshin from Sekiro. The response then became a viral meme.

        You cheated not only the game, but yourself.

You didn't grow.
You didn't improve.
You took a shortcut and gained nothing.

You experienced a hollow victory.
Nothing was risked and nothing was gained.

It's sad that you don't know the difference.

        Navy Seals of Nursing

          Originally its the Navy Seals copypasta from 4chan but changed to nursing.

          What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class at the University of Phoenix, and I've been involved in numerous patient safety workshops, and I have over 300 "good-catches." I am trained in medication administration and I'm the top ass wiper in the entire hospital. You are nothing to me but just another Foley catheter. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of nurses across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggof. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can cannulate you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in fall prevention, but I have access to the entire arsenal of PRN suppositories and I will use them to their full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, med student.

          Being downvoted on reddit sucks man.

            Being downvoted on reddit sucks man.

There’s something uniquely frustrating about being downvoted on Reddit. You put time and effort into crafting a thoughtful comment, sharing your perspective, or even just making a light-hearted joke, only to see those downvotes start piling up. It feels like a personal rejection, even though logically, I know it’s not. It's not just that someone disagrees with me—they’re actively saying my contribution doesn’t matter, that it’s not worth anyone else seeing. It stings.

What really gets to me is how impersonal and anonymous it is. There’s no feedback, no dialogue—just a faceless number that slowly erases your words from the conversation. It’s like being shouted down in a crowd, but you can’t even see who’s doing the shouting. Was my point misunderstood? Did I offend someone without realizing it? Or maybe people just don’t care? That lack of closure gnaws at me, making me second-guess everything I write.

Worse, Reddit’s algorithms treat downvotes like poison. If you get too many, your comment becomes invisible, buried at the bottom of the thread. It’s like you never even spoke, like your voice was silenced. And let’s be real—sometimes it feels like people downvote for the most trivial reasons. You used the wrong wording, or your humor didn’t quite land, and suddenly your comment is spiraling into the negatives.

It’s hard not to take it personally, even when I know I shouldn’t. I can tell myself it’s just the internet, that downvotes don’t define my worth, but the sting of being dismissed, of not being heard? That’s hard to shake off.

            Malenia

              Every copypasta of Malenia from Elden Ring. Malenia, Blade of Miquella and Goddess of Rot is an optional boss in Elden Ring that is well known for her difficulty and challenge.

              I am going to have sex with Malenia from Elden Ring

              I am going to have sex with Malenia from Elden Ring. I find Malenia in Elden Ring sexy. However, her body is made up of 87% Scarlet Rot, and 100% Scarlet Rot surrounds her. That could kill me if I tried to have sex with her. To remedy this, Malenia casts an incantation on me making me resistant to Scarlet Rot. Keep in mind, resistant is not the same as immune. I still take damage. It is either 1 point or 0 points each second I am having sex with her. Just because a particular second caused 0 points of damage, does not mean that I did not feel anything, It just means that I took no damage. I am not going to rush through having sex with Malenia, I make sure I pleasure anything I have sex with, especially non-humans! I'd rather take damage than not pleasure Malenia.

Malenia and I go to the Haligtree to have sex. When having sex with non-humans, it is ALWAYS sexier to have sex in their natural habitat rather than a human's natural habitat.

Before we went into the Haligtree, Malenia let all the Demigods know that we are just here for sex. The Demigods will not attack us because they know I am here at the Haligtree on sexual business. This includes the Omen. However, the Omen Mohg thinks that I am going to be an easy recruit for becoming a follower of Miquella considering that I am having sex with Malenia. However, I have no interest in becoming an Elden Lord.

              CURSE YOU MALENIA

              CURSE YOU MALENIA

I HEREBY VOW YOU WILL RUE THIS DAY

THICKER THAN OATMEAL YOU MAY BE FOUL WOMAN

BUT I WILL RIDDLE WITH CUM YOUR ROTTEN ASS

WITH A HAIL OF WHITE

WITH EVERY LAST DROP OF MY SEMEN

              God I fucking need rotussy

              God I fucking need rotussy I never wanted to breed with anyone more than I want to with Malenia, Goddess of Rot. That perfect, curvy body. Those perky breasts. The child-bearing hips of a literal goddess. It honestly fucking hurts knowing that I’ll never mate with her, pass my genes through her, and have her birth a set of perfect offspring to become the new Demi-Gods. I’d do fucking ANYTHING for the chance to get Malenia, Goddess of Rot pregnant. A N Y T H I N G. And the fact that I can’t is quite honestly too much to fucking bear. Why would Miyazaki create something so perfect? To fucking tantalize us? Fucking laugh in our faces?! Honestly guys, I just fucking can’t anymore. Fuck

              I’d be licking her rotussy like it’s a 5 star meal

              i know some people say it'd be gross to have sex with malenia because of the scarlet rot, but idgaf. I'd be licking her rotussy like it's a 5 star meal. I'll get chunks of rot and just swallow and keep going, even though they're all slimy like period clots. I'll bite into one as it flows into my mouth and it'll pop, splashing some of that stinky rot juice onto my tongue. it'll burn a lil but I'm a freak like that so the pain makes it better. she'll just wrap her thick, powerful thighs around my head and hump my face, leaving a red rot stain all over my lips and nose. after a while her tight asshole will pucker slightly, and I'll brace myself, but it'll be too late. It opens a little and a red-tinged fart hits me in my face like a gust of wind, making my eyes water and leaving a little residue on my skin. I'll cough and choke from the stench, but she'll just hold me down and force me to keep eating her out. after what feels like an eternity of plunging my tongue into her disgusting, sweaty, fetid pussy she'll grab my head and squirt out the same shit that's in the lake of rot, forcing me to drink it. it'll just keep flowing out of her as she moans loudly in release, not even caring that I'm being suffocated in-between her thighs, until my belly is bulging and glowing red from the inside, and I'm turned into a mindless sex slave, my mind gone from the rot consuming me

              The first time I came across Malenia I was throbbing

              The first time I came across Malenia (and the 152 subsequent times) I was throbbing. Yeah. This isn’t the most unusual thing in the world, but I’m not used to having actual honest boners that aren’t just forced to give me my dopamine. The shock of this experience made it hard to focus and I died right away, but I took a few deep breaths and went back into her boss room, although the erection hadn’t calmed down yet. I actually managed to get to her second phase and used the cutscene as a way to take a break, but then it happened... her armor came off. That beautiful stomach, that flowing red hair... she was perfect. I felt something weird but I paid it no mind since I was already beyond myself and in awe, but when she approached me in her newly revealed form I shot it straight into my pants, hands free. I fell in love with her after this ordeal and she indeed has never known defeat against me, because I only go inside to let her beat me up

After all of this happened I ordered a life sized Malenia statue and married it and have never been happier since 💕

              Imagine how Malenia would feel fom the inside

              Imagine how Malenia would feel fom the inside, her rot can be used as lube and protection. I could drink her rotted period blood and make myself a smoothie from it if I have no coffee, since she probably emits a lot of it, If i could I would use crusty rot chunks as a filling for a sandwich, it would give it a nice crunchy feeling and remind me of my favourite demigod. God I want to fill gas cylinders with her farts and inhale them instead of air just to keep myself sane when I'm not near her because every time I don't see her, the only thing can I do is imagine her sitting on my face making me inhale her smell and eat her out and if I do a good job she calls me a good dog and gives me a reward in a form of letting me lick her gorgeous feet 😔

              Chadfrey (Godfrey)

              LONG😱 and HARD🥵 didst thou goon. Horniest Warrior🫡. Edged by bussy of gold🌝. Be assured, the Milf/Dilf combo. Resteth close at hand.✊✊✊ ALAS! I am edged🥵🥵 To be granted red harlot once more.😏 Upon my name as Chadfrey, The first Sigma Lord!😎😎😎

              VAMOS CARALHOOOOO SL BENFICA 🔴⚪️ NÚMERO #1

              VAMOS CARALHOOOOO SL BENFICA 🔴⚪️ NÚMERO #11111111☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️ 👍👍👍👍💪💪💪💪💪😎😎😎😎😎 VAMOS CARALHOOOOO SL BENFICA 🔴⚪️ NÚMERO #11111111☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️👍👍👍👍 💪💪💪💪💪😎😎😎😎😎VAMOS CARALHOOOOO SL BENFICA 🔴⚪️ NÚMERO #11111111☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️ 👍👍👍👍💪💪💪💪💪😎😎😎😎😎VAMOS CARALHOOOOO SL BENFICA 🔴⚪️ NÚMERO #11111111☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️ 👍👍👍👍💪💪💪💪💪😎😎😎😎😎

              Australian Senator ‘Brainrot’ speech

                Fatima Payman brainrot speech transcript

                Western Australian senator Fatima Payman delivered a speech in Senate for Gen Z and Gen Alpha in brainrot language.

                To the sigmas of Australia, I say that this goofy ahh government have been capping. Not just now, but for a long time. A few of you may remember when they said “they’ll be no fanum tax under the government I lead.” They’re capaholics! They’re also yapaholics; they yap non-stop about how their cost of living measures are changing lives for all Australians. Just put the fries in the bag, lil bro. They tell us that they’re locked in on improving the housing situation in this country. They must have brainrot from watching too much Kai Cenat and forgot about their plans to ban social media for kids under fourteen. If that becomes law, you can forgor 💀 all about watching Duke Dennis or catching a W with the bros on Fort. Chat, is this prime minister serious? Even though he’s the prime minister of Australia, sometimes it feels like he’s the CEO of Ohio! I would be taking an L if I did not mention the ops, who want to cut WA’s Gyatts and Services tax. The decision voters will be making in a few months time will be between a mid government, a dogwater opposition, or a crossbench that will mog both of them! Though some of you cannot yet vote, I hope when you do, it will be in a more GOATed Australia for a government with more aura. Skibidi.

                Full transript

                Today, I rise to address an oft-forgotten segment of our society. I speak of Generation Z, who will be playing a substantial role in the next election, and Generation Alpha, who will start to come of age the election after. It is for this reason that I shall now render the remainder of my statement using language they're familiar with.

To the sigmas of Australia, I say that this goofy ahh government have been capping -- not just now, but for a long time. A few of you may remember when they said "there'll be no Fanum tax under the government I lead". They're capaholics -- they're also yapaholics. They yap nonstop about how their cost of living measures are "changing lives for all Australians" -- just put the fries in the bag, lil' bro. They tell us that they're locked in on improving the housing situation in this country -- they must have brainrot from watching too much Kai Cenat and forgot about their plans to ban social media for kids under 14. If that becomes law, you can forgor 💀 all about watching Duke Dennis or catching a dub with the bros on Fort'. Chat, is this Prime Minister serious? Even though he's the Prime Minister of Australia, sometimes it feels like he's the CEO of Ohio! I would be taking an L if I did not mention the opps, who want to cut WA's Gyatts and Services Tax. The decision voters will be making in a few months' time will be between a mid government, a dogwater opposition, or a crossbench that will mog both of them! Though some of you cannot yet vote, I hope when you do, it will be in a more goated Australia for a government with more aura. Skibidi!